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Silly Things Tsonga Men Say to Take Women to Bed

Imagine if the man you just started dating says “let’s go to my place and have sex?” Chances are, you would dump him if his cheeks are not met by your slap. This is the reason some Tsonga men have mastered the art of luring their women into the bedroom without actually saying it.

We’ve heard of things like “I’ll put in just the tip” when men want to have sex with their women. But I don’t think you’re ready for what Tsonga men say. My grandmother once told me that the reason she married my late grandfather is that he promised to buy her a train. It was after a while she realised there wasn’t even a railway line. Laugh with me!

Although times might have changed tremendously from when my grandparents were still in their youth, Tsonga men still say silly things to lure women into their arms or bed. How do I know? I was once a victim . Whether it was out of respect or fear of rejection, these pick-up lines always worked, you’d only find out once the deed is done (with consent) that you were somewhat duped. Even though I say Tsonga men, I believe hiding the motive of taking a woman to bed is not only done by Tsonga men, but most African men. Below are things Tsonga men say to lure women to bed:

1.       Can you please walk me home? I need to pick up my jersey. – Limpopo is blazing hot, why would anyone need to wear something warm in that heat?

2.       I need to drop off the house keys for my mom. – This is the trick that worked on me. Who would want their future mother-in-law to be sitting outside the house while her son is with me? I walked him home only to find his mother inside the house. Of course we went to his bedroom to “chill.” This was then followed up by the next pick up line.

3.       Should I switch off the light? – Before I could give any answer, lights off! Then “itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.”

4.       I’m hungry. Can we pass by my house so I eat? – Did the women ever wonder which hunger were the men referring to? I wonder. D

Do you know any lines that were used on you or your friends by their men? Please share with us using the @Shangazine handle on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

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Hlulani Masingi

Hlulani Masingi, also known as Hlulz; is a young, vibrant and witty black South African Tsonga woman with a solid education and seven years media experience. She graduated at the University of the Witwatersrand with a Bachelors Degree in Media Studies and English Literature and Honours Degree in Media Studies and is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in African Languages and Linguistics in the Media at the same institution.

Born in Johannesburg and raised at ka-Mhinga, an underpriviledged village in Limpopo, Hlulani is a determined individual and regardless of her impoverished background, she has a variety of interests that include PR, Communications, Marketing and Events, her passion is Creative Writing. She has always had a strong thirst for knowledge and could already write the word ‘mother’ in her home language at the age of four. She started her first year of varsity at the age of 16. After working as an Online Editor from 2014 until 2017, Hlulani Masingi founded Shangazine – an online title focused on celebrating Xitsonga people’s traditional and contemporary lifestyle.

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